I am patterned by the pain in my life because it has done more to me through my struggles than success has. My struggles have been the pathway to my success. I can boldly say that our preaching has to be counseled by failure for us to be able to deliver and minister effectively. Just because you took some book and went through some psychology class does not mean you are ready to understand my struggle. I do not say this to nullify those that offer counseling psychology, I am a Psychology student myself, but I say this because unless you have worn my kind of shoe, you wouldn’t know where it hurts. Tell me, what do you when you feel you do not have the time to do things all over again? What do you do when those you love walk away from you and even if you have tried to make things work it has proven to be irreversible? I besiege you friend, when people can walk away from you, let them go! Because your destiny is not tied to those who left! I have the kind of faith that strongly believes that nothing just happens. Matter of fact I hate to think, I hate to think that anything just happens.
And in that moment when I was at a crossroads, when I was in the pain of being who I am, of not knowing what I want, I know of only one thing I wanted: Count my blessings and name them one by one. I do not want to measure myself with the things that only went right, because God balanced me with the things that went wrong. I am alive! I am still in God’s will…be it perfect or permissive, I am still under His will. I can see, hear, taste, touch and smell. I am a woman. I can feel love and hate. I can laugh and cry. I have been forgiven and covered from my iniquities. I can celebrate and tolerate. For each day I can account for what God has done. I can serve God at whatever capacity, the noticeable and unnoticeable altogether, and He will still be glorified. For whatever God has predetermined to happen in my life will happen! He is in charge! He runs the universe! My mistakes, my troubles and pain were all still in His will. Every tear that I have shed in the past year, were still in His will. Nothing just happens, I trust that God is up to something.
Truth is successful people never like to admit that they do not have it altogether. But yes, I have not had it altogether in my past year. It has not been a walk in a bed of roses…drowning in the scent of sweet things…sipping wine…and eating chicken…not at all! But look at me! I wouldn’t have been a better woman. I have grown in the balance of joy and pain. My life on the pendulum of faith as I swing from one extreme to the other. Shifting from the friends that have come and the dear ones that have left. From the success that was and the failures the same. But still I stand! For all that has happened, nothing has risen above me! god would not allow the things that happened to happen if He had not given me the grace for it! I have sufficient grace for every moment of my life, good or bad! Because nothing, nothing, nothing just happens!
Inspired by the preaching of T.D. Jakes. The father, brother and friend I never had.
