I am always left with the question “Who am I Lord that you
are mindful of me?”
When I began my studies in Daystar University I had this
plan in hand, that I would do a crash program and graduate by 2014.
I had so many other plans playing the background but one
thing I was sure about was that I would graduate in 2014. It’s seven months to
June, 2014, the graduation set date for Daystar graduates and I look back shaking
my head…how imaginative could I get! Two years down the undergraduate lane and I
have only covered three semesters….lol!
This semester was one among the three where you choose
courses and tell God “Daddy, this is a tip of the iceberg of my faith, I will
study, attend classes, do those cats, research on those term papers and
projects, give my end of the bargain on group work, and how I trust that I shall
sit for those exams at the end of the semester.”
Yesterday, at the very last day before exams, I had lost all
human hope of a coming exam card…but hey, where human hope stills, that
is where hope from above takes over.
Later in the evening I visited the financial aid office to
check if they had replied to my request….my school fees had been
cleared… not quarterly or semi…but all of it! By which sponsor? I don’t even
know…
But I know I did not deserve it….. I know that I haven’t
been a good and faithful servant as I ought to be… I have not been a perfect
child this semester…and no, I have not been the most righteous…but still He
provided for me, He saw me through this moment of my life where it all seemed
like it was coming down. He showed me that I am worthy of His love.
My whole viewpoint of God changed as from yesterday. We all
keep talking about God’s faithfulness. But we underestimate it if we
do not give it the understanding it deserves. He is not faithful because we are faithful, He is faithful because that is
just who He is.
I took time to study the story of David today morning before
commencing my revision for my exams. David
desired to build a temple for God and He made it known to Prophet Nathan. His
intentions were good, they were genuine…but God had a different plan.
So He communicated this to Nathan and made known to Him the
promises and plans He had in store for David….
Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he
said:
“Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me
this far? 17 And as if this were not enough in your sight, my
God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You, Lord
God, have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men.
18 “What more can David say to you for honoring your
servant? For you know your servant, 19 Lord. For the sake of
your servant and according to your will, you have done this great thing and
made known all these great promises.
I couldn’t help but relate to David’s prayer.
Despite of the much that I have or haven’t done for the
kingdom, God has still made His promises manifest in my life. He has shown me
and my loved ones kindness….. He has poured out and abundance of peace and
outstretched His arms to take us back whenever we stray from His perfect will.
He is not the kind of father that says “if you dare fall
short of my glory, don’t ever come back to my throne of mercies”
Neither is He the kind of father that says “this is the last
chance you have to make things right”
He is to me the kind of Father that has shown His
unconditional love….without threats or restrain.
He has loved me in a way no man, or woman has before… I dot
not even understand why am writing this right now, but I know that I am
overwhelmed with the unaging love He’s shown me…
He has been mindful of me before my conception…way before I accepted
Him as my Lord and Savior… way before salvation ever made sense to me..
Deeply caring…and deeply concerned about our wellbeing that He
placed us in families, no matter how dysfunctional, that He knew would mold us
to be what He has called us to be….
He predestined our yesterday, today and tomorrow…
He desires that we may be so lost in Him that everyone and
everything that knocks on our heart’s doors shall have to seek permit from Him
first for we are but kingdoms that He humbled Himself to dwell in….
My value, as a princess, as I have come to understand, is not come from
physical attributes, spiritual gifts, educational achievements, socio-political
persuasion, or even my position on the second coming of Jesus Christ…all these
don’t define who I am.
I am defined by who He is to me, and who I am to Him…who we
are to each other when the world’s curtains are drawn and all we have is each
other…
To me He is not only the Lord I worship….His throne is not
only to me a place of praise….He is to me more than what words can describe…more
than what minds can comprehend….more than what feelings can fathom….more than
intentions can concur…
So as I draw nearer to 2014, I so well know that I am not on
that graduation list, I am far from it actually, but I have graduated in
thought and worship, and so I am having this swell time rejoicing and looking at the things above and beyond my human eye.
It’s been two years since I joined Daystar University, two
years since I gave my life to Christ, and two years of having a Savior
transforming my mind..
Lord,
We are a moment; You are forever,
Lord of the ages; God before time,
We are a vapor; You are eternal,
Love everlasting; reigning on high
Holy Holy Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the lamb who was slain
Highest praises, honor and glory
Be unto your name
We are the broken; You are the Healer,
Jesus Redeemer; mighty to save,
You are the love song; we’ll sing forever,
Bowing before You; blessing your name.
Holy Holy Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the lamb who was slain
Highest praises, honor and glory
Be unto your name
