Benches.....THEY ALL AIN'T LOYAL!

I’m just here to talk about my issue with benches. So if you don’t have a particular issue with benches gerarahiaaaa meeennn!!!! We are not friends....hehe

Photo credit photobucket.com 

I hit the side of the bench and I swear I almost screamed my appendix out as the pain infringed my sanctity.

Is this bench insane?? Yes it is insane….it has to be

Doesn’t it know that a woman is entitled to a perfectly good evening especially after spending a rough afternoon at the beauty parlor getting that pedicure for the first time in Lord knows how long?

Photo credit PinInterest

I don’t want this bench alive. And so if it was an insect I would have smashed it dead.

But it just lie there lifeless….emotionless…..in a most annoying manner.

So I pushed it aside….then I thought, it probably feels nothing.

Then I imagined what song would best suit it just in case it was alive and I killed it….probably Delilah’s version of “If I die young”

If I die young, burry me in sudden!

That song would just end right there, on that line, because the ‘bury me in sudden’ would be the only go ahead I would need.

Sigh…..that bench!

Long story short, I just left it there and consoled myself with the thought that lifelessness is enough of a curse for it. There’s nothing I could do to worsen its situation.

And that is how it is sometimes when we hurt people.

We at times feel nothing…we are just there like emotionless beings…feeling nothing….doing nothing…..in an almost annoying manner to those that we hurt.

They’d want us to feel something, anything, even if it’s joy so that they would know they can turn that joy into sadness….but we don’t feel nothing. Everyone needs at least something that they can start with you know.

I know countless of us who know how to put down the best lyrics when in hurt…..the best poems…the best scripts….and even the best vibes…the best updates and tweets...the best Insta pics....but it’s only the likes of Adele who can hit an “Hello” when they reflect on a past that would have been better.

But really though, how is one meant to feel when you are fully aware that your source of joy is someone else’s source of pain?

What is the much that you can do when you know that there isn’t much that you can do to ease the other person’s pain?

You know their pain, yet there isn’t room in your heart to accommodate it because all you have room for is your source of joy.

I’ve listened to a couple of friends share their pain. In a most heart wrecking way……almost numbing. And most times I’ve had to hold back my tears in an effort to be strong for them. In other occasions, I’ve just broken down with them because it was too much to hold back. And even while at it, I couldn’t help but wonder if their source of their pain felt anything about it.

They are just there crying….and I’m right there beside them weeping even harder. Then they pause….look at me…and laugh. Because to them it is hilarious. Then I ask myself why I was crying so hard…. I laugh. Now we are both laughing. We look like confused twins wearing hats.

Photo credit bigstock.com

Okay this laughter is heading nowhere. So I’m not going to write about crying and laughing anymore. hhmmm

I’d make an evangelistic preacher where not making someone’s pain your source of joy is concerned…..I’m a sucker for it for real!

But truth is it takes a deliberate effort to decide that you will not base your joy on the breaking of someone else. Before doing anything or saying something we should clearly sieve it through our motives and acknowledge that when tables turn we might as well end up on the other side of it.

The golden book cuts across clearly when it teaches that those who live by the sword die by it.

Karma is also a not so far fetched reality. It’s as real as the oxygen that we breathe yet when you flip the coin it so veraciously corrodes metal into what English men call rust.

I may never control the things that I do or the things that I say that may cause pain to those who come across it, but I can surely control not hurting people intentionally.

And also, I will not let my life be limited to people’s feelings, but my motives will be free from hurting folks.

I may not like you……but I will surely not intentionally hurt you.

And when I hurt you, I’ll most definitely not stand there lifeless….like that bench…that bench, nkt!

I wouldn’t want My Beautiful Twins to sit on that bench….I refuse!

My Pregnancy Journey just began...

I am heavy!

Photo credit www.bellanaija.com

Being pregnant with twins is the best feeling ever….to check into the hospital and to have the doctor affirm that what you are carrying is not just a blessing of a child, but that of two.

I am rubbing my tummy interchangeably as I type this piece.

Working towards getting a child, realizing that you successfully got one, and rearing the thought of finally becoming a parent….to have a being look up to you in not only more ways than one, but in all ways one could think of….these are priceless moments.

Photo credit Musa DK

And so because I’m finding it hard to capture this moment for you……mainly because I am not yet heavy with twins, but heavy with a multitude of thoughts, I choose to draw back to the basics of the writing of this piece.

This heaviness though!

This heaviness is like that of twins carefully sucking life through the placenta of a mother who readily gives….readily gives….readily gives to the children that are now her own.

And I readily give to my multitude of thoughts….

…

It has been a whole year ever since I successfully put down a piece of writing.

In the past year I could barely go beyond two paragraphs when I began typing….whether on a bus home…..at the back of a taxi seat….or as I strolled along the serene paths that my green homeland Kericho presents.

Pause: Let’s talk about Kericho. 

Photo credit Musa DK

Whoever has been to my motherland can swear that this is a place to behold! The carpet of green tea, and if you’re lucky you’ll find sight of the purple tea lawning (this word does not exist in the English dictionary) the land where it lies. Oh my motherland!

Sigh, Kericho, you deserve a place in heaven…very close to the Mercy Seat.

Back to the heaviness….my multitude of thoughts that drive me to labor…you my reader would imagine that I’m out to list down a million and one of them here. A thought at a time, I will.

However….with each piece of writing that will come forth henceforth, you’ll behold of my twins.

There is this tranquility that comes with knowing that you are where you want to be at that present moment in life. I have not written much in the recent past, but I acknowledge that I’m in God’s perfect timing of doing something magnificent with the multitude of thoughts He has conceived in me.

Photo credit Musa DK

It is almost deafening to imagine that the life one lives is a wasted output of what others throw at you…..but a sweet victory to acknowledge that whilst many have failed to conquer the sand thrust in the grave as your soul is condemned to an utter standstill, you are here stepping on it and rising above it….rising to the very ground that allows the condemner and the condemned to fight on the same battle field.

Not being able to do what you love doing can have such effects. Where you feel as though your validity and relevance is going six feet under, but the beauty of it is in refusing to let it die. In refusing to let the candle burn out.

So whatever it is that you do without being asked to….that thing(s) that drives you to achieve milestones without the nag of a deadline….that one thing that you are convinced is the reason for your heart to beat…..that one person that you know you can’t live without….GO FOR IT!

Cheers to greater reads and interactions with you my dear readers. Let’s make it happen!