The day I stopped being super woman...

The day I stopped being super woman..

 I had the cleanest house, the spotless floor, the sparkling dishes, the polished walls, clean linens, arranged things, ready everything when anyone needed anything.

I learnt everything because I wanted to know everything when anyone needed anything.

I practiced everything because I wanted to be experienced in everything just in case anyone needed anything.

In my mind, I wanted to be Super Woman….I was Super Woman!

Every aspect of me was Super Woman!

I wanted to be the perfect woman…the perfect mother….the kind of woman my man would run home to (as they say….)…the kind of woman that licks her husband’s boots. Give him as many kids as he wants and even when he says he wants none, I’d passively or jokingly oppose but leave it at that.

I did not want to disappoint…. I would never disappoint…because Super Women don’t disappoint. 

I’d easily let go of who I am to be who he wants me to be….because, well, I am super woman after all.

When I was a super woman, I needed man’s approval… I needed man’s attention…. I thrived on man’s acceptance…. It was a sad life living for everything other than Christ.

Well, that was me when I was a super woman.

But the day I stopped being super woman, I started seeking the woman God created me to be.

The day I stopped being super woman, I no longer lived my life pleasing everyone but instead opened a new page of living my life pleasing Christ.

The day I stopped being super woman, I no longer worked on grooming myself to be a wife, neither did I acclaim to be waiting for my man. I stopped waiting and started seeking first His kingdom. I let the zeal of my youth be consumed by ministry.

The day I stopped being super woman, I work on respect and submission to Christ first...not because I feel obligated...but simply because I deeply want to show Him the depth of my love. 

The day I stopped being super woman, I stopped putting my trust in men because I now trust the God of man.

The day I stopped being super woman I stopped seeking wisdom on how to be an ideal modern woman, wife or mother and ascribed to living as a proverbial woman.

The day I stopped being super woman my ambitions shifted from what I can gain and the amount of money my career would allow me to bank and started living a  mission of giving…because giving does not require a degree….matter of fact it does not require anything but cheer…for God loves a cheerful giver.

The day I stopped being super woman I stopped being proud. I began expressing myself even when I feel vulnerable. I started crying freely…laughing loudly….and smiling daily. I mourned with those that mourned and rejoiced with those that rejoiced.

When I stopped being super woman, I chose who to serve.

When I stopped being super woman, I discovered my purpose.

When I stopped being super woman, I no longer put God in a box because now I know that even when He does not give me what I want, what He has in store for me is exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ever think of, ask for or imagine.

When I stopped being super woman, I stopped wanting to be Mitchell Obama…or Oprah Winfrey….or Beyoncé Knowles….what tha heck! I let myself discover me… JUDY CHEPTOO, God’s princess, child of the Most High King, co-heir with Christ, and that right there cannot be compared to nothing! Despite of my past….my shortcomings…my failures….I am beautifully divine, because God says so!

The day I stopped being super woman is the day I stopped being a child. For when I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child…but when I became a WOMAN, I put childish ways behind me….and took the full armor of a woman after God’s own heart.

The day I stopped being super woman I listened, I felt, I LOVED.

The day I stopped being super woman I started living my life as God ordained me to….for He was making my paths straight.

The day I stopped being super woman I gained my self-esteem. I grew in confidence. I explored my potentials. I accomplished goals. I had peace. I became happy. I rested. I allowed myself to have lazy days in pajamas without wallowing in guilt because I understood that rest is as important as work.

When I stopped being a super woman I talked about my past victoriously because I have conquered it! I talked about my failures unashamed because I am not defined by them. I began to embrace my weaknesses because they make me unique. I began to confess my sins because my peace and acceptance is in Christ Jesus!

When I stopped being a super woman I opened up my heart to love even when I don’t get any love in return…even in rejection…even in fear…even when the world thinks it is the most stupid thing to do…because the only commandment I so well pursue is that

of LOVE according to 1 Cor 13.

The day I stopped being a super woman is the day I began to worship in truth and in spirit because attention shifted from me to God.

Each day I beat myself to stop being a super woman….it’s a journey, trusting God is my journey…obeying Him is my pursuit…serving Him is my offering….taking up His cross is my sacrifice…dwelling at His feet is my heart’s desire.

I do not want to be a super woman… I want to be perfectly human in my walk in Christ. I want to smell the fresh air of life… I want to love unconditionally… I want to forgive wholly… I want Christ. A super woman leaves no room for mistakes…leaves no room for life…or for Christ…she has her life defined by multitudes surrounding her….but when she gets out of the colonization in her mind…when she finally attains freedom from herself….she’ll be the woman! Our woman!

The day I stopped being a super woman, is the day I became a Woman.

Cheptoo. J